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What is Self-Care?

Self-care this, self-care that. We hear a lot about the term "self-care" and most of us can likely give a definition to this term, yet many of us still don't practice it. It really is more difficult than it should be. And becoming a parent adds a new element to the difficulty, particularly when our children are very young.

I define self-care as the idea that you are a priority and that you take the time to practice treating yourself as such. Self-care can come in many forms and it may look different for everyone. Finding what self-care is for you is the first step, making it a regular practice is the second.

Why is Self-Care Important?

As a new mom I struggled, for a time, and felt like I had lost myself a little. I didn't know who I was as an individual anymore and I was struggling to find myself in my new identity as "mom", and there is a multitude of life events which can leave us with this feeling.

I wish I would've been better at practicing self-care back then. In the years since I've become better at it, and it has made a big difference for me. I've found that taking even a short amount of time everyday to focus my energy solely on myself is important. But why? Here are just a few reasons it's so important to practice self-care everyday:

It helps you to rediscover yourself. Not as a partner, parent, boss, employee or otherwise, but as just you.
It can help to reduce your overall stress. You can't always change the chaos of life, but you can find bits of calm amongst it. Focusing on the things we can actually control, like how we care for our mind, body, and spirit.
It helps you to also rediscover your self worth when you feel you need to be reminded.

So let's get real here for a minute. Life gets busy, whether you have kids or not. Having kids definitely adds a whole new meaning to the term "independence" or “alone time”. The idea of spending the evening unwinding, scheduling a regular massage, or sitting down to read a book seem to be distant dreams. This is when it becomes more important to not only practice regular self-care, but to also get more creative as to how and when this self-care can be practiced.

9 Realistic Self-Care Ideas

This idea of self-care is to set aside at least 10 minutes per day to focus just on yourself. Clear your mind of all other things for just those 10 (or more, if you have them) minutes.

1. Meditate for self-care

Meditation has been shown to have overall health benefits. A decrease in anxiety, depression and lowering blood pressure are just a few of these benefits. There are different types of meditation and the type I prefer to focus on is breathing meditation, and I like to do just 10 minutes a day (most days). If you want to learn a bit more about meditation, check out this article for more information.

2. Journal writing/brain-dumping

Spending just a few minutes journaling every morning upon waking or at night before sleeping has great benefits. Get out all your thoughts; the stressful ones, the happy ones, and all the ones in-between.

If you prefer to sketch or draw instead of write, that is most definitely acceptable! However you choose to express yourself is perfect.

3. Turn your shower time into spa like "me" time to practice self-care

When all else fails and all you can do is get away from your day in the shower, make the time in there count. Take in some essential oil melts to add some aromatherapy; light candles; play your favorite audiobook, podcast, or music and spend 10-20 minutes just letting the world fall away.

4. Move your body, do yoga, or stretch

Spending as little as 10 minutes connecting your mind with some type of body movement can be therapeutic and most definitely counts as self-care. This isn't a full on workout, just some basic movement where you're moving with intention and enjoying it, whatever it is. Here is a great resource for some easy to do stretches for some guidance and inspiration!

A quick note: Always listen to your body and if any particular stretch or movement starts to feel painful, stop. There are always modifications or alternative movements that can be done.

5. Get enough vitamins, minerals, & nutrients

I don’t think it’s much of a surprise that many of us are deficient in many vitamins and minerals. Some key vitamins and minerals that most of us are in dire need of are Vitamins D, B12, and Magnesium—just to name a few.

In many parts of the world, Vitamin D must be supplemented in order to get proper amounts; and adults should be getting about 2000 IUs everyday (I’ve heard some suggest more, but 2000 IUs is the go-to dosage for adults). Vitamin D affects mood, sleep, bone health, heart health, and the list goes on.

Vitamin B12 can help you to maintain sufficient energy levels and balance your mood, it helps with heart health, bone health, brain health, and supports healthy hair, skin, and nails.

Magnesium has many benefits to boost, as well. Some include it’s role in heart health, bone health, migraine prevention, it’s anti-inflammatory benefits, and it’s contribution to healthy blood sugar levels.

As you can imagine, being deficient in these or any vitamin and mineral can keep your body and brain from feeling it’s best.

If you want a little guidance on your journey, grab this FREE 7-day guided wellness journal!

6. Spend some alone time in the early morning

Now this one may not be realistic for you everyday. Sometimes we work nights, or our kids have us up throughout the night. But when this is a possibility, it's a great way to start your day. Get up 10-20 minutes earlier than normal, make yourself a cup of coffee or tea, and just sit and drink it for 10-20 minutes, or for however long you can afford.

You can spend this time reading, writing, listening to music, a podcast, an audiobook; or just sitting quietly. However, I strongly urge you to stay off any electronic devices during this time (music, podcast, or audiobook aside).

7. Start a gratitude journal

Photo by Gabrielle Henderson on Unsplash

This one is similar to journal writing and brain dumping. The idea here, however, is to focus solely on gratitude. Whenever you can set aside at least 5-10 minutes of quiet time to dedicate to this, add 3 things you are grateful for. This can be in the morning, at night, or any time in between. It can even be combined with your early morning dedicated quiet time while you're drinking coffee or tea.

Writing the same things from one day to the next is perfectly fine, just add and/or change it up when you feel it's appropriate. You also may add more or less than 3 things on any given day.

8. Find time to practice movement/exercise at least 2 hours per week

Okay, so this one isn't necessarily a quick one, it takes a bit more preparation and motivation to accomplish. I do think that adding this element to a regular self-care routine is highly beneficial.

While this is more difficult a task for some of us, if you are able to find time to dedicate to movement/exercise, the payoff can be abundant. Here are some benefits to boast.

2 hours per week breaks down to approximately 30 minutes of exercise 4 days per week. If you can't quite hit this amount of time per week, just do whatever you can, even if only 15-20 minutes 3-4 days per week. If you are new to the idea of movement and exercise, check out my post here for some guidance and amazing home workouts!

9. Invest in a coaching program, personal training program, or sign up for a class of your choice

Okay, so this one is not going to be realistic for some of us, but if it is a possibility I highly recommend looking into one of these options.

I am, full disclosure, a certified health, fitness, and nutrition coach and a certified personal trainer; but I assure you this is not a plea to get you to be my client. This is me stating that when I was a health coaching client before I became a health coach myself, it helped me tremendously.

Coaching programs are more of a financial and time investment, but if you find the right coach, it really is worth it. The coach and the client both must have the right coach-client “chemistry” in order for the experience to be truly beneficial. That’s why you should be a bit weary of any coach that is willing to take on anyone and everyone, despite the fact that they may not be a good match.

If coaching isn’t realistic for your budget, looking into available classes through a local community center or a local community college could be a very viable possibility!

Many community centers and community colleges offer art classes, writing classes, music classes, and classes on other interesting topics, too!

If you have a local gym or YMCA in your area, you could look into the cost to join and find a fitness class that you could attend each week. Many gyms have a childcare facility where you can drop off your little ones while you go have a good workout. You could possibly even connect with other class regulars. This could be a great way to connect with other people while creating a healthy habit for yourself.

Even if you’re a bit more shy and don’t want to make friends in class, the regularity of showing up to do something good for yourself can have such a positive impact on your psyche!

Conclusion

Remember, not all of these have to be done everyday. Feel free to mix and match, pick and choose, and come up with your own little "pockets" of calm in the chaos.

It may be hard to find time to practice self-care, but it is so important to make yourself a priority, even if it's only for minutes a day! As a parent, self-care and feelings of guilt often overlap. But in order to be the best version of ourselves for our little ones, we must find the balance and self-love within us. We must treat and love ourselves the way we'd want our children to treat and love themselves.

I'm curious, what are some of your favorite ways to practice self-care?

Disclaimer: I am not a doctor of any type and therefore this is not official medical or clinical advice. These are things that I have implemented in my own life and utilized in my health coaching practice after spending a substantial amount of time studying and practicing these techniques. They are not meant to cure any ailment, and they are certainly not meant to serve as a replacement for any mental or medical healthcare treatment. Mental health is important and sometimes difficult to address, but it's important to seek the support of a professional when needed. Please consult a physician when beginning any supplements, or exercise and nutrition programs.

9 Self-Care Ideas (& Why You Need It)